Comentarios de lectores/as

girl for work

"Maryann Sturgill" (2018-08-06)


He knew I was a sex worker. It says so, right within my Bumble profile: retired media whore, current actual whore. He'd even commented onto it, using the language every woman longs to hear from the romantic interest:'Haha, nice ;) '. And yet I watched as his face contorted in to an expression of disgust, his upper lip curling as the truth of my profession came crashing down around him such as a tonne of bricks.

"That is clearly a lot," he said, and then he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. I didn't hear from him again.

It sometimes surprises people to listen to that sex workers do a number of normal people activities, like working other jobs, studying, taking the bins out. We exist in real life after our shifts end and the red light is flicked off; we have dinner with this families and shop at K-Mart and wait on hold with our internet service providers for what feels as though hours.

It's not common that the physical and emotional experiences we've at work will be enough to replace with a possible not enough intimate connection inside our lives outside work; so most of us also date, with varied quantities of success.

A couple of months ago, I ended a connection with a person I had been seeing for pretty much two years. In private, he was an enormous supporter of me working, but around his colleagues and friends his tune appeared to change. He'd introduce me, but hesitate in describing our relationship; when he explained, "This really is Kate..." the silence that hung in the area where, "...my girlfriend," should have now been weighed a tonne.

I don't think that he personally had a problem with me being fully a sex worker, but I actually do believe that the possibility of other people judging me – and then judging him for being with me – was enough to make him want to help keep me a secret.

So I've recently downloaded some dating apps and put myself back on the proverbial market, but it's tough. Along with the usual questions one ponders before a romantic date (What do I wear? Where shall we go?) I find myself asking such things as, "At what point do we've the talk?"

The talk in which I clarify my job, re-explain my profession in the event my date didn't read my Bumble bio, forgot what it said, or – worse – thought it absolutely was a joke. Do I tell him the moment we meet, or before we say goodnight? Or do I throw it נערות ליווי out at random within the length of the evening: "Wow, this wine is delicious. Incidentally, I'm a hooker. Pass the salt?"

The best dream scenario is that my date is supportive, and happy that I've found a type of work that I like and supports me financially. Unfortunately, it's only happened once – once! – so these days, I find that most responses fall somewhere between abject fascination and outright objectification.

Sometimes I end through to the receiving end of a thousand rapid-fire questions ("What's the weirdest thing you've ever done at the job? Maybe you have had a celebrity client? Are the people all old and ugly? They're not, like, normal guys like me, are they?") which is preferable to horrified silence, but leaves me feeling like I've just been interviewed for an hour.

Other times, my date can barely contain their disgust, quizzing me over and over again about how frequently I get my sexual health checks done and if I'm sure I'm נערות ליווי not just a carrier of some mutant strain of gonorrhoea.

"That's all well and good," one man said, over coffee, "But obviously if you sought out with me, you'd have to obtain a real job. And you couldn't tell anyone we realize that you used to work." You must probably Google me before you obtain too attached compared to that idea, I desired to sneer.

Of course, even the crudest distinct questioning is a better case scenario compared to the very real threat of violence that lots of sex workers face when speaking about their job. I've friends who've been followed home and stalked by men who couldn't realize why their date with a sex worker didn't end with a romp, and others who've had partners show up at their work in a spontaneous fit of jealousy, viciously demanding they empty their locker and return home using them immediately.

And even that's better the possibility of physical violence from a romantic partner. I once went on a romantic date with a man who invited me around his bedroom, held me down as he initiated sex without a condom, and then read among my own personal articles, about sex work, aloud if you ask me as I lay silently alongside him.

Dating isn't simple for anyone. Even the act of getting to distil your entire person in to a quick and snappy paragraph fit for a dating app is enough to create anyone want to purge their hands and surrender to a life of solitude.

Still, I believe in love, and I am aware from past experiences that relationships – when they're good – are worth every struggle.

On the occasions when it's all too much, I find myself thankful for the simple, stress-free nature of transactional sex. An hour on the clock and a peck on the cheek to express a fond goodbye until the next occasion: if perhaps finding love was as simple.

If you want to check out more info on נערות ליווי have a look at the web-page.



.......................................................................................................................................................................................................

Contacto

Teléfono: (+598) 2359 5478
Fax: (+598) 2354 2052
Correo-e:agrocien@fagro.edu.uy
http://www.fagro.edu.uy/agrociencia/